“i feel like i’m always doing something wrong. i don’t know why or what to do. i feel this heavy guilt on me and it’s just like i feel like i always have to be cautious. i guess it’s like i feel someone’s always watching me in a way. i’m not sure if i can really express how i really feel, i feel like i can’t find the word for it. hmmm. stuck between a rock and a hard place…”